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THAT FIRST TIME, it was noon recess at school. A blowy autumn day. I was sitting on a bench in the playground with two other fifth-grade girls, eating our lunches out of paper bags, and this man appeared and stood watching us from about ten feet away. There was a rusted old chain-link fence at the edge of the playground, but you could slip through it; the man must've come in that way. Tall and dark-haired, a stylish-looking sport coat and a dark blue shirt open at the throat, aviator sunglasses so greeny-dark his eyes were hidden. He was so handsome] Standing there, like he'd been watching us for some. time, and smiling. When I looked up he said, "Ingrid? Hey: Ingrid Boone." His smile widened. I stared at him and I knew who he was though I had not seen him in a long time. My heart stopped and when it started again I was on my feet, I'd dropped my lunch bag and he had my hand tight in his and we were walking fast to his car parked at the edge of the playground, the motor running.
I whispered, "Daddy? Daddy?" squinting up at him so hard it hurt, and Daddy said, a finger to his lips, "Uncle Jack, let's say. Uncle Jack Boone, baby."
Five times in all, October through November 1977 when I was ten years old and Momma and I were living in a rented house in Tintern Falls, Daddy came to see me in secret. Just that once at noon; it was too risky at noon. The other times he'd be waiting for me after school in his rented car. Driving out along the river into the hills north of town, we'd be parallel with the Chautauqua & Buffalo train tracks elevated above the river on a wooden trestle until they disappeared into the tunnel at Block Hill. That tunnel]--a gouged-out hole like a nightmare in the side of the earth. The way even on the sunniest day light could penetrate the hole only a short distance, then ceased as if the darkness was an actual substance, a barrier that could stop it. I'm dreaming of it all these years.
I was excited and scared believing that Daddy...