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Divine love always has met and always will meet every human need.
-Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health With Key to the Scriptures
Seat 1947 Hollywood Calif
Woke early! couldnt sleep past 6 AM & all last night waking & sweating & hearing voices of excitement & warning This would be the day to determine my FUTURE & already my heart was beating against my ribs like something small & feathered was trapped inside! But this is a good happy feeling I think
Birds singing outside my window at the Studio Club a good omen in the tall grass &jimson weed orioles, that liquidy call, & scrub jays harsh & wakeful & a remembered voice that dream of a man (a stranger) warning me something urgent in my life & Im scared I cant hear or dont know the actual words as if they are in a foreign language
Today I am scheduled to be shown Mr Zs famed AVIARY his prized collection of birds only the privileged have seen & later my audition "Scudda Hoo! Scudda Hay!" starring June Haver Mr Shinn says I am prettier & more talented than June Haver, I would like to believe him Its a fact I'm the only girl in my acting class invited to audition for this movie just a minor role of course
Pink plastic curlers covering my head 36 of them! a torture to position my head on a pillow my scalp aches & burns but I will not take sleeping pills like Im advised Shook out my "new" hair brushed & sprayed not yet accustomed to it What has happened, my hair has turned white as with a terrible shock
Sick with nerves & worry have not visited Mother in 5 months & must send $$$ A good thing Bucky cant see me now hed be disgusted I dont blame the Glazers its a shock to catch sight of myself unexpected a kewpie doll with such fluffed blond hair & the red lipstick & tight clothes Mr Shinn says I must wear
Mother once said Fear is born of hope if you could excise hope from your life you would excise fear these 20 anxious minutes applying makeup botched it & wiped everything...