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Three studies examined the subjective experience of forgiveness. Studies 1 and 2 revealed the affective, cognitive, and behavioral consequences of transgressions, and revealed that the forgiveness experience comprises relief from psychological pain, increased empathy and positive regard for offenders, the actualization of religious values, the discovery of new meaning, and movement toward reconciliation with offenders. Study 3, an experiment, revealed that those who have forgiven experience more of these benefits of forgiveness than those who have yet to forgive or than those who reflect on their experiences prior to forgiveness. Study 3 also demonstrated the differential impact of offense severity, victim-offender closeness, and victim religiosity on the five underlying dimensions of the forgiveness experience. Implications of the forgiveness experience for counseling and therapy are also discussed.
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
-Mark Twain
Forgiveness, a complex process, often extends over a considerable time, and includes wide-ranging and substantial intrapsychic and interpersonal changes in the people who experience it (e.g., Enright & Fitzgibbons, 2000; Kearns & Fincham, 2004; Wade & Worthington, 2005; Younger, Piferi, Jobe, & Lawler, 2004). Transgressions such as infidelity, physical violence, or social rejection often leave anguished victims ruminating on the offenses and their offenders. To reverse the natural inclination to avoid or retaliate often takes considerable personal effort, and not surprisingly, victims experience this process in myriad ways. The purpose of our research was threefold: to catalogue thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of victims of serious interpersonal offenses; to identify the kinds of offenses that evoke issues of forgiveness; and to examine the multidimensional nature of the forgiveness experience.1
CONCEPTUALIZING FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness has been defined in relatively parsimonious ways by some researchers, and in more elaborate ways by others. McCullough, Worthington, and Rachal (1997) initially conceived forgiveness as a set of motivational changes in which victims become less motivated to retaliate and to maintain estrangement, and more motivated to demonstrate goodwill toward harm doers. McCullough et al. (1998) further simplified this definition, describing forgiveness as "the reduction in avoidance motivation and revenge motivation following an interpersonal offense" (p. 1587). This elegantly simple conceptualization of forgiveness has been validated in a series of studies (e.g., McCullough et al., 1998), and continues to be...